“That which you see and hear, you cannot help; but that which you say depends on you alone”. – Zohar

The great book of Kabbalah, the Jewish mystical tradition, called the Zohar, reveals this truth that many of us find it so hard to believe. In other words, we have no control over other people’s actions but we have ALL the control on how we are going to respond to them.

We ALWAYS have a choice on how we are going to react to life’s circumstances, no matter what they might be. It’s always our choice to scream in traffic, or to just let it go; to take things personally or to understand that people are acting according to their own agenda and not deliberately trying to “get us”. It’s a matter of understanding our own personal power and using it!

It’s a big change from the current paradigm which tells us that we are led by external forces and circumstances and that we cannot do a thing to deliberately change the direction of our lives. I invite you to experience with a different possibility: Start playing with the notion of taking charge of your life and of your responses to external circumstances. For example, notice that when you choose not to react to an angry person in traffic how much lighter your commute becomes. It's always your choice to react or not to react and, as a result, to have a much more plesant ride or to let it get to you.

Besides choosing how you are going to respond to other people, you can also choose how your day will go and what you are going to attract into your life. Visualize the outcome for daily situations and see for yourself how you have the power to attract them to you. Begin with the parking spot: See yourself parking right in front of the place where you need to go. I now call it “Doris Day parking” borrowing the term from my friend Pamela who told me she always knows her parking spot is always there waiting for her – just like Doris Day in her movies! Begin to design your own circumstances in life and see how you start to attract them.

The same goes for how you react to people. Take charge of the situation and direct your responses to the outcome you want. If the person comes to you angry, realize that is not about you; maybe he/she is having a rough day or maybe someone already upset them and they are merely taking it out on you. Smile, ask how you can be of service and watch them melt!