Drops of Energy - November 2006
Just got back from a wonderful gathering of coaches from all over the world in St. Louis, Missouri. I was part of the International Coaching Federation Conference which gathered coaches from more than 20 different countries. Not bad for a profession that is only 15 years old. We were all filled with a overwhelming sense of participating in something huge, being part of the making of a new and wonderful profession. I took away from the conference an exciting responsibility for ushering coaching to the next level.
I notice that being genuinely commited to the growth of a profession, the betterment of the world, the development of the collective, brings us a sense of inner peace and humility. The focus becomes the "We" as opposed to the "Me", and that's when our ego naturally takes a back seat. The more commited we are with the growth of the collective, the less compelled we are to prove ourselves to others. That's when it's easier to feel peaceful inside.
It takes an enormous amount of energy to be focused on our ego, to be constantly pointing out our accomplishments, bragging, or trying to convince others of our worth. Ironically, the less we care about seeking approval, the more approval we seem to get. People are drawn to those with a quiet, inner confidence, people who don't need to make themselves look good, be right all the time, or steal the glory. Most people love a person who shares from her heart and not from her ego.
The way to develop true humility is practice. The next time you have the opportunity to brag, resist the temptation. Give the floor to the other or better yet, to the collective. Invite others to talk about their lives and be willing to listen to their stories. Notice how many lessons you can learn from listening to what others have to say. Be truly curious just like a child. You will notice the immediate inner feedback in the way of calm, easy feelings.
Coach's Challenge: Step out of your ego and invite others to tell you their story. Give yourself permission to listen to what others have to teach you and to be silent about your own accomplishments. Let yourself off the hook of trying to compete with others and experience the peace of not having to say or do anything. Notice the focus from the "Me" to the "We" and what feelings that new paradigm brings to you.
Have a peaceful month!